Hi…scratch that, I am not American. Good morning…scratch that as well. What if the person did not have a good morning? I prefer to stick with “Werrin dey?” At least that gives room for a positive, negative or an indifferent response, either way it is your choice. I am done with apologies, so I don’t have any excuse. I didn’t write yesterday because I didn’t. Get used to it, human beings can and will always disappoint you. Wait a minute, looked in the mirror. News flash, you are human too. Long story short, gimme a break! I am still trying to get over my stomach wrenching success on my last write up. Biko (please) allow me this one time. After all every day is not Christmas.
I had an early start today, but it is only because I knew trekking was my only option for transportation today. Why are you shocked that I was walking? Please stop acting surprised. We both know the entire nation is broke…let me rephrase that. The entire nation is broke, with the exception of the banks. I guess the only reason why I felt bad about the whole arrangement this morning is because I had no money to patronize our famous transport extortionists (Okada, Danfo and Keke Marwa). At least I still have a choice. The car owners don’t. Their landlord demands fuel every day and if they fail to provide it, omo na serious social mess up.
After two long hours, I got to my destination in a mud pile! It is close to arriving in one piece now. Stop Laughing! It was a nice experience, and I would know, I have been trekking all July. Okay, it wasn’t so bad because I had my Smartphone to keep me company. The only problem though is the fact that it always over delivers. I was still on the smartphone two hours after I got to work. Yes I was trying to update everyone on the current trends of making money. These trends include
- Rob a bank
- Rob a bank
- Rob a bank
- See 1, 2 and 3.
You should have seen the mentions I kept getting on twitter from this one brilliant idea. I was so engrossed. I didn’t see my boss sneak up behind my work station. She must have been there long enough to recognize that the twitter app had become my new worksheet.
This is also a wild guess, but I am pretty sure she was reading my tweets. In the few seconds, minutes or hours she spent spying my conversations, she must have familiarized herself with the twitter nomenclatures. She goes “I see you aren’t working…you are twerking.” See jerking…I thought my chest fell away from my body. I am still shocked the ground refused to open up and swallow me!
A special shout out to illie_KNowAH. You gave me inspiration today ooh!
Have a great day at work folks. Are there any twerkers (Tweeting and Working) and twaddicts (Tweeting addicts) out there? Shout out to you guys. Drop me a couple of lines okay?