Presidential Blunder or Nigerian English?

Once upon a time, I was very popular and had a lot of things to say, the fame was so intoxicating. I allowed it to get to my head and just couldn’t shut up. I guess I had reached my climax. Some thought it was time to give my mouth a rest. One day I let my guard down for five seconds, and then the unwanted visitors jumped in on me. They injected me with a virus and predicted that I would not be unable to rant about anything sensible until one week was up. I guess today is end of all that hocus pocus. Today was a very difficult battle. My bed refused to let go of me. I shouted, begged, pleaded and even tempted to bribe it, but it was to no avail. Thank goodness for twitter. Someone, I would go right ahead and say a good Samaritan tweeted this

“#InNigeria people shop in traffic, then go to Shoprite and take pictures”

That did the trick. Bravo to you MisterGhenGhen, your tweet got me bed raking with laughter, long enough to release me. My laughter was short-lived when reality kicked in. In my mind’s eye, I saw the words boldy written “MONDAY MORNING!!!” Okay I promise today will be different, I will not go my usual route with my complaints of my current transport situation or the fact that I don’t have the choice to sleep and wake up at will. I did my early morning workout called “Get ready for work” and got out in record time.

I think I got to work early enough, if you consider the fact that I got there a few seconds before my team mates. I even had enough time to gulp down a plate of Ewa goin (I can’t spell, so don’t get a heart attack if that is incorrect). I was about to settle down into my usual routine, but I always have to consult my blackberry before I do anything stupid. Hey don’t judge me, these smartphones has made us all dumb (I see a post there…look for it!). So I checked the recent updates and saw this

Kpa Kpo! Gunshot!!! Everybody take cover!

Okay let us take a chill pill. Chances are this picture is hocus pocus, but still it is another good laugh I added to my day. I did a quick Google search on these words “official blunder” and couldn’t find anyone talking about this. Yes a couple of folks had it up on twitter and Nairaland. I did a few rounds on the internet, but I can’t find any evidence to confirm that this actually happened. Plus the Newspaper isn’t one I have ever seen on Nigerian soil, but who says I can’t blog about it?

My only bone of contention is…English isn’t even my first language and I do moderately well with it. Shouldn’t we cut the lady some slack? Nobody screams “foul play” when the American say “I thought you was there” instead of “I thought you were there”. If we are going be adopting another man’s tongue, then it better sit still and adjust to how we do things here and not the other way round. And who says we can’t call that Nigerian English?

A quick question…is it spelt “Victoria island” or “Victoria Highland“? Apparently a particular Yoruba dude on my bbm doesn’t know the difference!