This one is on request and might be opinionated. If you don’t agree, you always have the comment box to air your views, but for the next five seconds or so give me some space to rant away my feelings on the subject that has been thrust upon me.
The newest student in my class had me proof read his latest write up “Wife Material”. I must confess, as I read it, I had to blurt out “we have our own list too”. As one of the commenter’s pointed out, we most certainly have a list and Oknuges, don’t you worry we also do our own fair share of discussions on what we look out for as ‘husband material’. Here are a few of them.
To all the beautiful and hardworking ladies on my BBM (Blackberry Messenger), who won’t settle for anything less than the specifications on their list a big shout out to you. To all the ladies who decide to compromise just because they feel life is passing them by, oh well all the best and if there is any other group I missed out, ‘sorry’ will have to do. I am not a robot, so you don’t expect me to remember everything.
Before I go on with the list, I just want to set the record straight. Contrary to the popular opinion of the male species we aren’t looking for a guy with a fat account to drain just for the fun of it. Mind you I am not saying we would mind if he has twice the cash, I am just saying that it isn’t top priority. Of course we would like him to be financially stable, but take note of the word “POTENTIAL”. He must have potential and we will be willing to grow with him.
These are the things we look out for:
- He must be godly, God-fearing. Seriously, if you cannot lift me up spiritually, then I think it is better you just leave me in my father’s house, after all who wants an anti-climax after marriage? It is supposed to lift you innit? This goes first on the list of any female individual.
- Don’t be domineering. We recognized and accept the fact that our Creator made you the head of the home. We are willing to respect and even acknowledge that, but you need not remind us every five seconds. Afterall the Lion is the king of the jungle and he doesn’t remind the lizards about it every blessed minute.
- He must be respectful. I believe the common saying is “respect begets respects” if you demand it from us, I believe we would be better followers if we see you being an example. Don’t you know that when respect is showered on any individual, it gives the feeling that you are appreciated despite your short comings?
- It has been said that a confident man is a successful man. Confidence in most cases gets you the girl. The opposite of confidence is a big turn off.
- He must be responsible. That is the big elephant in the room. I am entrusting my life into your hands, you are taking over from where my family left off. So if that trait is lacking you can be certain that I won’t budge no matter your other credentials are. Actually this comes second.
- He must be sensitive and patient. It is known that a lady has seasons. Sometimes we nag (it is in our DNA), sometimes we are rude, naughty and get angry unnecessarily. It is not an excuse, but your ability to overlook it and treat us like you would treat your younger sister will endear you to us. In our silliness, be patient with us. If and when you do this, we will be willing to give an arm for you.
He must be TRUSTWORTHY, understanding, supportive, caring, intelligent, hardworking, and kindhearted. Please don’t stop me, because I intend to keep on going. Okay, my time is up, but it still doesn’t change the fact that we want it all. And yes we want him to be knowledgeable in other matters which I chose not to mention here. But since we do not live in a perfect world, we might settle for close to 90 percent. (You aren’t allowed to judge, afterall, that’s an A.)
The point is we are looking for someone who we can be ourselves with. We want a friend.
I agree that loneliness can be horrific, but let’s face it guys, you cannot do without us!!!
Reblogged this on agbeke's Blog.
She smashed it… I give myself 80 percent.. At least that’s also an A…
Guy,
Why are u scoring yourself? If you are 80%, then u will not be unmarried. Men are like parking spaces, the goods ones are always taken
Gbam!!!!!!! I like that…
On point tho. But , as guys can’t do wifout ladies…so do ladies can’t do without guys too.
Will u be my friend? Hehe …
I agree wit ur blogs but 2 points I wanna point out.
1. At 1st,I tot Lions n Lizard analogy 4 domineering was way off but wen I tot abt it,I decided it made sense. Some women act like Lizards in their jungles and some act like Lionesses.
2. I won’t accept it’s in a lady’s DNA to Nag. It’s a habit datz picked up basically cos of her upbringin. But I will never accept it’s in their DNA. NEVER.
Ermmmm the analogy was respecting the littlest person or the person you feel don’t matter, or the person who answers to you, so you number 1 is like off to me oh!
My dear, it is in our DNA, whether you choose to admit it or not. Show me lady that don’t nag and I’ll believe that I’ve got a tail!
We definitely want a friend! Nice one, Tops!
Ok this is the most honest/hilarious way of driving out a point “WE FEEl YOUR Thoughts” and for the other part you won’t mention I sure some of us can give 95%… Anything more then there’s definitely going to be a problem lol
Hmmmmm!!
This actually makes a lot of sense. I’m a guy and this got me reflecting on some of my ways.
I will keep many of the points raised in mind.
Ladies, y’all too also need to be patient with us guys. Sometimes we mess up but a patient forgiving attitude can put us back in check
Not always, not always!
Oh yes, That is the right list. I am hard pressed to add anything to it. I love the last sentence where you said we are looking for someone we can be ourselves with. I would add with out fear of judgement or reprisal. Great post,,, Bravo!
Spoken like a woman who wants her man to be all that he can be. However, I can’t say that compromise is all bad. Just don’t compromise your core values. Nice post.
Thanks Henry!
Not a bad list, but I am sorry, there is no way that my husband is the head of the house! We are equal in every way and my son will grow up with this knowledge as he should.
Oh well, I guess, it is my perspective, I feel they are the head, but should treat us as co-equals, but like I said my perspective. I respect yours no doubt!
Your best piece yet.totally honest, realistic and on point….guys please take note, we ladies are not smiling yio.
abi oh!
Reblogged this on DaLozone Blog.
Really Insightful! Great Piece! Had to re-post it on my blog BloodyNigerian.blogspot.com
Good combo for husband material, in the end how many ladies can set this as a benchmark when the age pressure come?
I concur!
Brilliant,well-worded and down-to-earth.Thumbs up!
I put it yo you that you got your orders wrong. Most of the ladies I know will go for the “attributes” in this order: Money, connections, handsomeness(?), efficiency in bed, responsible, God fearing, then good background.
u can do a poll to convince you that your are writing from your imaginatively ideal world
First off, I did a poll, second, you are a guy, so stop assuming you know what the ladies want. Yes we look for security and money provides that to an extent. however there are a few other things we want out of a marriage and if you were female, you’ll know that a God fearing man is MAJOR on any lady’s list
Apparently you think you know us better than we know ourselves, but since its your opinion, I am willing to respect it.
How can a man assume he knws women more than they knw themselves……??????
Lemme put it this way,I agree wit the dude to a large extent not because I’m a guy but cos d fact speaks for themselves. It’s no news dat ladies say one thing and always mean another thing entirely so I can fault ur polls. It’s not like I’m claimin 2 knw u woman more dan u knw urselves but d truth is dat u ladies always live in denial and I expect u 2 deny dis. U claim d 1st thing a lady looks 4 in a man is one dat is God fearin but I don’t buy dat. How many God fearin guys r out dere? Yet there’s a scramble. You ladies are emotional by nature so how can u put d man’s stand supernaturally above d satisfaction of ur emotional and physical needs?
Yes we are emotional, but remember we are talking list here…something you use your head to mentally write and not your heart.
Fine there are those who settle for way less than the specifications on their list, that is their headache, but don’t you dare challenge my polls because they are the ish…
If we want to talk the actual, then that is a topic for another day, but the list still remains solid…what happens after that is another story…I think I should blog on this….*thinking out loud*
And it is normal for human beings to live in denial, it is sexist to narrow it down to women only…use google more often bro!!!
Hahaha… @Tope. U need to calm down. I don’t need to consult google on anything cos without google,I’ve seen enough. What I’m sayin is not sexist or anything of the kind. Let’s be open-minded here. You chose d topic not me. You’re speaking from the view-point of ladies and I’m okay with that. But what I’m saying is that you have to learn to speak for yourself and not for every other person. Cos what people say one thing and they mean and do totally another thing. That’s what I’m saying. The issue on ground is regardin women and what they want. If you had elected to speak about guys and what they like,my comment would hav been totally different so like I said,calm down,ma.
Hun I am calm, you are getting the heat because you are my buddy! Your point here might hold…like I said we are talking list NOT actual!!!
Cool!
A lot of woman don’t really knw wat they want in a man so they are ready to settle for just the usual attributes;fine boy wit swag and money…but a mature thinking woman, knows that a God-fearing man will neva b found wanting in the physical and emotional needs of his woman…that is y that should come first before any oda thing….a handsome man can catch my attention at 1st meeting but a sprititually sound man is a man to keep…a man is d head of his home,he is d one who interceds with God in behalf of his family….if he doesn’t have that relationship wit God, that home is doomed….handsome face and money will not cut d deal…so to my ladies out there pls…let that be number 1 on ur husband material list….
If a lot of women don’t know what they want in a guy, then the same goes for the guys as well! They go with what they can see…
The bottom line is that human beings whether male or female are impressionable…it will require some amount of maturity to go for content over looks when it comes to choosing a long life companion!!!
Love this post!! Humility, confidence and elegance is in your character, as shown in your words here. Now, is the man you are about to marry fulfilling these characteristics?
yes i agree with you about men being dominant …but the truth is that most ladies are attracted to guys that are in control, authority and in power
Yes I agree with you because I am one of such ladies
Haba, Aunty!!!!!!!! I dey apologize for disagreeing as per this phrase “If a lot of women don’t know what they want in a guy, then the same goes for the guys as well! “…………..A MAN knows what he wants in a LADY….(Although may not be 100% sure as per what he NEEDS in a LADY)…………..INSIGHTFUL and NICE post though…………..
No need to apologize jor. Its your opinion and you are entitled to it. Trusr me, women know what the want. This write up is actually a response to my friend’s Wife Material. You can read that at http://www.oknuges.com