Monday morning is usually the hardest. I vividly remember going to bed in an okay mood, so I don’t understand why I woke up this morning with the poem “Who Will Cry for the Little Boy” in my head. It was written by Antwone Fisher, a young naval officer, who despite his painful past finds new hope during his course of treatment with a psychiatrist. As I lay on my baby, Temi’s bed, the words began to slowly come back to me.
“Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?
…who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep
…Who will cry for the little boy? Who knew well hurt and pain
…Who will cry for the little boy? I will, I always do.”
I don’t mean to brag, but I do know the entire poem, it just that I can’t remember it on the spot. Thank goodness for Google…and back to my story…I realized that I didn’t go through half the things he went through. I am also aware that it cannot be compared in anyway, but the point is I am hurting…and as hard as it is to admit, there is no one to talk to. My thoughts are disrupted because I can feel Temi moving….I sink my head into the pillow, because I don’t want her to see my tears and then I hear my own voice
Who will cry for this little girl inside me, crying out to be heard?
Who will cry for this little girl, she has been made to live along fear
Who will cry for this girl, it been a while she has known or felt a mother’s love
Who will cry for this girl, there is no shoulder to unburden her heavy heart?
Who will cry for this little girl?
I could go on and on, but I knew that my day will just take a down turn. I need to stop this. I will not have the little girl beside me to see me like this. I need a boost for my inner man. Antwone is a survivor that means I am a survivor as well. I hear my senses screaming out what was Antwone’s punch line? I tried so hard to search my repository of quotes to rejuvenate me anytime I feel down. My day depends on it. It not coming and at this point Temi says “Sally Sally wake up”
C’mon, what was his line? I need it or else I won’t be able to face my day with a strong front…Temi says “Sally now stand up”. At that moment I hear Antwone’s voice clearly. He says
“I’m still standing! I’m still strong! And I always will be.”
Thank goodness. I lift my head up….good morning Temi…do you want me to buy you Sharwama? Her reply was filled with glee “Yes now”
And even though the day is far spent, do have a great week folks.